The Security Blanket
I think Holden needs to shrug off the security blanket of super close friends and be on his own. Anyone agree? Please chime in*:
*this is a debatable issue so all views will be reviewed and given merit. Be honest or do not respond.
posted by Knife-Party @ 3:04 PM
4 Comments:
Hmm, just some slowly gelling ideas I think. I'm starting to recognize two things: 1. that I don't currently own my destiny, I'm sort of waiting for it, which is lazy. 2. that loneliness is my biggest enemy and my achilles heel. being on your own is one thing, and I'm pretty comfortable embracing it, but nobody likes loneliness. Hence why I asked the question really. The second part of the question was to see if people agreed with my conclusion without revealing how I actually felt about it.
I was about to ask who the close friends where. I'm apparently not one of them, since I haven't called you in months. #1 is true for me too. #2 I would qualify thus: loneliness sucks until #1 gets fixed.
It's been a while since you asked, and so this is probably moot by now (and you should listen to Ye Olde Phil anyhow, as we all do), but I have one idea.
There's a difference between a security blanket and security itself. Just as nobody likes to be lonely, so nobody likes to feel insecure either. Super close friends can be very empowering by giving you the security you need to be on your own. (And I don't mean to be glib--loneliness can be soul-crushingly devastating.)
The solitary hero seeking his destiny is a very enticing masculine mythology. But Don Quixote, who "willed to be himself," as Harold Bloom puts it, would never have become the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, then the Knight of the Lions, then finally Quixote the Good without the loyalty and resilience of Sancho Panza.
I suppose what I mean is, there must be a reason you think your s.c. friends are a security blanket--maybe that reason, though, is a good one, and you can take advantage of it so that you can avoid loneliness and can will to be yourself at the same time.
so sayeth Astuo, Knight of the Taftian Physique
(Of course, you're probably just debating whether you should take a lease out on a new apartment, in which case let me know so I can be appropriately embarassed.)
Actually Tim, I was referring to exactly what you outlined. No need to feel sheepish whatsoever. I tend to be the type that overanalyzes everything to death, spinning myself into mental circles and wondering where my feet ended up.
I like your description of the solitary hero. Being that I also tend to be melodramatic, I think I often see myself as a solo-flyer, of which I am certain I am truly not. What I've come to grasp of late is that I am a man needing much stimulation, especially of the social persuasion. And so I think I get bogged down in the quagmire that is a sudden (and usually temporary) void of close friends.
Going one step further, I've really learned the value of the good friends I have though. Now that many of my s.c. friends are farther away, I actually find I am closer to them than I ever was when they were physically near. I think in many ways it's a good thing.
Most importantly though, I think it's high time I was actually forced to tackle these issues. It's my own bridge to actual adulthood. I've been avoiding it for quite some time.
No need to ever really grow up, but it is important, if not crucial, to be comfortable with oneself. But, uh, don't let that philip find out, he's a no good nogoodnick. Shame on him and a pox on he. (come on Philbo, fight back)
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